Some are stoked, some are happy and some are just plain restless. I am, however, a little bit of all of the above. Seeing the HSC Calendar made things a little more real to me. With that being said, why do I still come here? My sanctuary is a temptation. I must retire from reading other journal entries, let alone my own. Since my laptop isn't connected to the internet, I still have access 'offline' to sites I last visited. It's stupid, but I'm there. I'm going to clear the browser history. I'm going to set you aside, because honestly- chances are a bitch. People often say to never give up, but quite frankly, I have no choice. If ever a day you realised what exactly all this meant, I probably wouldn't give a fiddler's fart about it anymore or pretend you were merely some bullcut critter. I will miss you and hate you at the back of my mind, everytime you're there. I suppose that's the funny thing about life. My life. A contradiction unfolding right before my eyes.

If it concerns any of you, I will give you a rundown on where my subjects lie at this current point in time. I will start by forgiving the subject- Drama. It is clearly not the assessments, but the tangles that have developed through my relationship with others that have grown to be a challenge. Every single time, I walked into Drama- I always took a step back and placed my anti- social hat on. Why? Obviously, I felt isolated. I craved for more familiar territory and faces. I know it doesn't make sense, but the subject suddenly appeared to be a nerve racking experience. It's not my intention to distant myself from others. It just happens. How is it that I could have forsaken a subject I loved, since I was a toddler? I was born a performer and nothing can take that away from me. Well, apart from the more determined self, who wishes to head into Politics. Either way, I'll still be performing. With the two terms that remain, I hope to be as loud as possible. I'm going to take myself back to Year 7, where confidence was fresh and self- esteem was incredibly high. A miracle awaits. The room has to accommodate for all.

Advanced Mathematics, if you must know, is not going down the path I wish for it to. It is a dog that strays without a leash. Pantua has however lended me a hand. I am thankful for it. I'm still searching for my 'Asian- mathematical genes'. I'm pretty sure they do exist, so let's do this.

Advanced English looks to be one of my most favourite subjects. I blend well with the people and I love it. It's definitely a much needed therapy session at times. English Extension 1. The mark let me down, but the existence of trials is a bliss. My major writing project for English Extension 2 has been commented on. Ffrench likes my idea. And so, should you.

Legal Studies would not be fun without the bag of giggles in the air. Hunt continuously threatens to make my life a living hell, but I see the reversal of that happening. It's a subject, which flows naturally and 'tis why I fancy it.

Economics is what it is. With extra revision and a little less self- contemplation in multiple choice, I will slap the Devil. I have already decided I want to be a Politician so I will have tax- free super and if not, I will be purchasing a treasury bond- thank you very much.

Last but not least- Studies of Religion 1. I have developed an obsession for reading the textbook in class. I fear I will go permanently deaf soon from the ringing of Tuckwell's voice. Tuckwell seeks to encourage the class to find European Settlement an intriguing topic. Many beg to differ. We could make this fun.

I'm having second thoughts with regards to Debating. I feel dragged into the activity now, but I know it'll work out eventually. And so, this wouldn't be an entry without an evaluation of human behaviour. Up until now, certain individuals have thrown me overboard, time and time again. I suppose we just have to accept it. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you one of the many curses of the world- dominant and patronising individuals, with their line of identical accomplices. Doesn't make sense? Don't even bother asking.

By the looks of things, this will be my last entry for WARD-39 for the year. Not necessarily going to post my HSC dates here, like others. All you need to know is my last paper is on November 9th, 2006. Perhaps to draw this entry to a close I will answer a question, a friend once asked. Why did I decide to call this place 'Ward- 39'? In my early days, I envisaged the world to be a gigantic ball of individuals diagnosed with an illness. Plagued and deceived by the treacherous complexities of the human spirit, we all reside in a particular room. I have had problems in the past, where many believed I was mad. You would be correct to an extent. It's an incredibly pessimistic perspective, but look on the bright side of things. There ain't no Nurse Betty's around and nobody will ever understand the multi- layers of you.

Farewell. <3.

I apologise to any readers for the past two entries. I guess, knowing the fact that things will remain the same, frustrate me. I'm actually feeling a whole lot better though, despite my IQ dropping a tad from watching 'The Master of Disguise'. Kidding lol I finally found the destination of the oh so infamous line (which plagued me for over a week) 'This is what you're doing (hand in quack motion- pronto), this is what I want you to do (snap)'.

As humans, we are all capable of feeling a whole lot more than what's proclaimed. I've come to learn that if I feel crushed, I play the fool. I will have meaning further down the track. Now, won't that be a spectacle.

** Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm trying so hard to write you off.
Make an effort to notice.

Last night's party was rocking =) Photobucket will be updated.
Tequilla is crazy shit.
I woke up this morning, with the worst pain in my stomach.
I am, however, in tip- top condition now.

Thank gush, I did not play a fool OR I would not have been forgiven.

My holidays have overall been A-OKAY (despite there being a lack of a certain something). Since this is the last night, it's time to say FAREWELL until I don't know when. I might blog on some random days, so catch me then!

5mins later. OKAY, it takes too effing long to upload these pics- so for now, there's only a few. Here's one RIGHT NOW.

Lately, I've been driven out. I haven't been feeling myself.
I learn to hate, because of you.

You can't explain yourself.

10.42PM
I'm good now, after finishing my draft and having a chat. It's not 30pages, but 19- 20. Hey, it  is my FIRST draft afterall, and whose to say it hasn't reached the time limit. Yeehaw. I had to stop anyway. Script was becoming disturbing. I pretty much tormented each and every one of my characters to the highest capacity, my imagination was capable of. Of course, more could be done but it's early days and I'm cool with it.

When you're disappointed with yourself, the whole world frowns upon you. Not with you.

I'm waiting for something amazing to happen.

Tutor starts this Saturday. * Mumbles.. I mean YAYE.

The script currently stands at 10 pages. What I thought was 15 is nothing, but an illusion. Last night- some friends were over and I spent some 25mins taking 'Capote shots'. lol
Northshore's over. So, that means there's no more 3PM sessions with MR TELE anymore!

* I don't believe this.
I really thought I had it down.

So happy, that I found this!

IT'S REALLY REAL. Truman Capote and Perry Edward Smith.

Newtown! What a great place to explore. Capote was okay. Main feature was the voice and the Mexican amigo. I love Mexicans. Yess sirey bob! After the movie, CLEOPATRA, CLAUDIO and I went off for Thai and a mission to look for a costume and stuff in general. Woohoo, I didn't get what I wanted- but I feel quite accomplished. Three cheers for moi. Lets just hope I'll see my connections work magic.

I'm so tired at the moment. I am however forced to redeem myself because mother was playing commentary outside my bedroom again. As always, passive dad just blindly saying boom yada, it's her holidays. IT IS. And that means I can chat to whomever I want (and plus I ain't busting a hole in the bill.. it's FREE TIME). I hate how she can sit on the couch, and see/ hear right through my semi- wooden door. But I do see her point- I've been quite lazy and it's all because of English and Religion. This whole bloody, dragging sensation is a pain in the rear end.

I rest my case.